Hard to resist
by Marjon
Summary: Mick tries to resist the monster inside of him, but Josef is not helping him the slightest. Implied Slash, JosefxMick


Warnings: Angst, raw feelings, drama, violence, hintings of slash

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, unfortunately.

Summary: Mick tries to resist the monster inside of him, but Josef is not helping him the slightest.

A/N: First Moonlight fic and it turned out quite right. More raw feelings than I first thought but not too bad if I may say so myself.

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_Mick's POV_

It was hard trying to concentrate, each time I felt my thoughts slipping away from my mind. I couldn't do this, it wasn't normal!

With my knees pulled up to my chest and my arms around them tightly I sat on the ground in one of the dark corners of the room. It was now only a few short weeks after Coraline had turned me, but I still could not accept the fact I was a monster. I probably would never be able to do so.

I bit my lip and the soft skin broke, causing blood to spill into my mouth. Cursing in silence, I wiped away the blood with one of my sleeves. I did not like the metallic bitter taste of blood, I never did and I never would. Resisting against the monster inside me who longed for blood, I made sure to clean all of it away, but still some of the taste lingered.

Closing my eyes tightly, I let my mind wander off again, once more towards that awful morning not so long ago. To be precise, the one where I found out I had been turned into a monster without ever wanting it. How could she believe I thought it was a gift? Living forever in damnation because of the horrific monster she turned me into.

Behind me I heard a door open quietly, footsteps so soft only those with extraordinary hearing could acknowledge. That must be Josef Konstan, the ancient vampire who took me in after Coraline left me. I was only a fledgling, or so they told me, so it would be unthinkable to leave me alone on the streets. I could start a killing spree they said. Right, like I would ever be able to hurt anyone on purpose, let alone kill them?

"Still swallowing in self pity?" Josef said, walking closer towards me until he was only a few steps separated from me.

I forced myself to look towards the other vampire, seeing the man look down on me with annoyance. He never liked me and never forgave my sire, Coraline, for leaving me in his care.

"Leave me alone." I muttered, hoping for the other man to leave. He however pretended as if he hadn't heard me and did not move an inch.

"I can't do this." I hissed after a few moments, anger coloring my voice. I would never accept being a monster like this, no matter how hard he tried.

"Yes, you can, but you don't." He replied, a frown visible on his face. He looked so young, but he was already hundreds of years old. "There's a big difference between those two."

"I WILL never do this." I said, rephrasing my words carefully.

"You can't escape your destiny. One day you'll come around and know you were being an idiot by acting like this." Josef turned and walked away from me again after those words, ready to leave me swallow in self pity once more.

I couldn't help myself, but the anger I felt when hearing those words must have triggered it. Within seconds I felt my fangs lengthen and I knew that the color of my eyes would change into those icy blue ones; the one which I only had when I turned into the monster I hated so much.

The brunette male turned back to me again, surprise but mostly amusement visible on his features. A low chuckle escaped his lips before he too turned into his vampire form.

Afterwards I still am not sure why I did it, but at the moment I couldn't do anything but that. In that split second when he turned I jumped up with inhumanly speed and had my hand around his throat. I wasn't sure what I was trying to achieve by doing that, but that was something to worry about later.

A growl came from deep within me and my right hand turned into a fist, ready to plant it in Josef's lower abdomen. I was so sure he would stop me, fight me, that I was surprised when nothing happened. Because I had expected resistance I had thrown the blow a little harder than I would have done if I had known before, Josef actually bend over and coughed.

"That hurt." He said in a steady voice almost in a whisper so quietly.

I was about to make my apologies, when I remembered his words and swallowed them down.

"Use that anger, channel it and perhaps you won't be so worthless after all."

"NO!" I screamed, growling deeply. It was foolish to stand up to your sire, or in this case my step-sire, but I couldn't think straightly anymore.

"Try again," Josef muttered, his piercing blue eyes locking with mine.

I did not want to fight him. He was many times stronger than I was and it was suicide to even try, but he had asked for it, hadn't he?

He grabbed my left arm and pulled it off his throat throwing it to my side. I took a step backwards, but when I felt my back coming in contact with the solid wall behind it, I reversed it again. Thrusting another blow towards the other man, he captured it easily. He could defeat me with his eyes shut and one hand on his back and here I was thinking I could possibly even win?

Shaking my head to clear my mind I tried again, with the same result. Minutes passed by where nothing intriguing happened. I tried to hurt Josef but he blocked all my moves. In the mean time the man gave me instructions, but I barely listened to them.

Unsure of what to do next, I allowed myself to turn back to my human form. The act surprised Josef, much to my own disbelieve, and I took advantage from it by throwing my right fist against his jaw, scratching the skin of his lower lip in the process and a little bleeding cut was the result.

Josef blinked a moment to reestablish himself, ready to defend himself what would come next, but that was something I was surprised by myself the most.

The hunger, the longing and the lust for blood came rushing back to me and hit me like a bus. The feeling was so overpowering I could do none but gave into it. I felt my fangs lengthen again and I knew the color of my eyes must have changed once more, before I bent forward and captured those bloodstained lips.

A chuckle escaped from the older man and after a minute or so he pulled back, biting in his own wrist to feed me from there. Anxiously I took his arm and drank, satisfying those hidden needs and longings.

I felt the blood run through me, the power the other man had, the strange but addictive taste of his blood, and it all threatened to swallow me whole. I felt my knees give out underneath me and the next thing I knew was Josef gently putting me in a sitting position against the wall. The holes on his arm were already disappearing, however his smile remained on his face.

"Don't be ashamed." He whispered in my ear, before he vanished into thin air again, leaving me alone to feel even more miserable than I had before his visit.


End file.
